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When Missing Them Still Feels Like Yesterday
- Minnina Smith
- Oct 18
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 21
Have you ever missed someone so deeply that even after months, years, or even decades, it still feels like they just left yesterday? That ache that lingers, the sudden rush of longing, the tears that well up without warning — that’s grief. And if you’ve felt that, please know you’re not alone.
I’ve lived this journey myself. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was just 17 — back in 1996. And then, in 2020, I said goodbye to my dad. Even now, there are moments when the pain catches me off guard.
Just the other day, I was leaving work and had a simple thought — I wish I could share this with my parents. It was something small, something they would’ve loved to hear, and it hit me hard that I couldn’t. That they weren’t here.
And as that thought lingered, others followed:
They won’t get to see my children grow up.
They won’t be there when I walk down the aisle.
They’ll miss the graduations, the milestones, the moments.
And those thoughts — those spirals — can make that wave of grief even heavier. Because grief doesn’t always scream; sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it’s a quiet ache in the middle of a busy day, and sometimes it’s a flood that takes your breath away.
What Grief Can Look Like (Even Years Later)
If you’re grieving someone, here’s what it might still look like — and all of this is normal:
Feeling like the loss happened just yesterday, no matter how much time has passed.
Moments of intense sadness triggered by small, random things — a smell, a song, a familiar phrase.
Longing to share news, stories, or milestones with them, only to feel that sting of reality.
Guilt about moving forward or even about being happy without them.
Imagining their presence at future events and mourning the “what could have been.”
Periods of deep reflection that show up unexpectedly — even on your happiest days.
These moments don’t mean you’re stuck. They mean you loved deeply — and love like that never disappears. It simply transforms.
Gentle Ways to Cope When the Missing Feels Too Big
Grief will always ebb and flow, but here are a few ways to carry it with more grace and peace:
Acknowledge the Wave: Don’t run from it. Allow yourself to cry, reflect, or simply sit with the feeling.
Talk About Them: Speak their name. Share their stories. Keeping their memory alive can bring unexpected comfort.
Create “Connection Rituals”: Visit their favorite place, cook their favorite meal, or write them a letter. These small acts can feel like a bridge between then and now.
Share Your Heart: Don’t grieve alone. Talk with a trusted friend, counselor, or support group about what you’re feeling.
Lean Into Faith: Let your spirit be strengthened by the One who holds you even when grief feels too heavy to bear.
A Word of Comfort
One scripture that continually comforts me is: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”— Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
No matter how many years pass, God’s closeness doesn’t fade. He is near in the ache, present in the memories, and faithful in the healing.
My Heart to Yours
Grief has no expiration date. It doesn’t follow a calendar or respect the years. It simply reminds us of how deeply we loved — and how much that love still lives within us.
So if you find yourself missing someone today — if the tears come out of nowhere or the longing feels fresh all over again — know this: it’s okay. You are not weak for still feeling it. You are not broken for still remembering. You are human. And love like that… it never really goes away.
This is my journey. And maybe it’s yours too. And together, we can honor the ones we miss — not just by mourning their absence, but by living fully in the love they left behind.
Minnina Smith
Coach | Author
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